Happy Jihad's House of Pancakes: This Week in Conspiracy

I am trying very hard to not bludgeon my whining cat, Mina. You have no idea. Oh, cripes. She just knocked a box of plastic forks off of the fridge. Have to go get my cat-disciplining stick.

Anyway, as I struggle against the impulse to felinicide, I thought I'd bring you another edition of the week that was weak.

Are the bed bugs from Plum Island?

Jeese Ventura Investigates Wall Street, fails at life.

Alex Jones: Rand Paul Already Being Used as a Scapegoat. The word you're looking for, Alex, is "punchline."

Initiative 300 fails.

Roger Leir, defective podiatrist, was on Coast to Coast.

Yvette Carnell perfectly fails to understand the word skeptic. Ouch.

Isn't listening to a pastor about the economy a lot like going to a plumber for a colonoscopy?

My favorite headline this week: "Alex Jones' audio blog: the true nature of evil."

I can't decide what to think of this. But it smacks of a manufactured conspiracy against, admittedly, that wacko Arizonan sheriff. Surely nobody that evil is so stupid as to send out this email.

Oklahoma bans Sharia Law.

Alex Jones asks for $500,000 to continue the war on leprechauns. Seriously, institutionalize this man.

Micky discovers the government cartoon conspiracy against Glenn Beck. HAHA!