This week and last week in conspiracy (18 July)

The infection of nanorobots injected into my prefrontal cortex by the CIA demand that I write about the week that was weak. And, boy, was it weak.

STOP THE PRESSES! MEGA CONSPIRACY OF THE (PREVIOUS) WEEK!

This just came through, and so it's fair game. Sen. Vitter (R-LA) endorses thoroughly debunked conspiracy theory. I WANT TO SEE VITTER'S FUCKING BIRTH CERTIFICATE!!!!!1112@@1!EMPHASIS!!! This is bad news. Really bad.

• From Dr. Theo, in one of the Dakotas (does it really matter which?): "NASA a launching pad for Islam." The strategic collaboration that would get the Middle East excited about science instead of superstition and secularize it (maybe) seems to evade him. Dude, Muslims can't go to space. How do you pray at Mecca from orbit?
• Cupcakes and assassinations at the new Sixth-Floor Museum. That's wrong; murder shouldn't have a gift shop.
• Right Side News: All the News That Isn't!
• From the BIN, "Soldiers moving families away from the Gulf! SEE!?! SEE!?!"
• CNN, WTF? I can't believe you hired this goat-fucking child molester.
• GLENN MILLER TORTURED BY NAZIS IN BROTHEL! No shit? Dude, that's totally how I want to go.
• Can you actually say that people like conspiracy theories?
• There is a "black mamba" snake in our government. Oh, redneck racist! You and your witty quips!
• A minor point in this story that depresses me, Roy Blunt of Missouri, in whose Capitol Hill office I once sat (one of the few reps I actually saw), did not laugh outright at the brither conspiracy. Jesus.
• Artificial fog may have brought down Polish president's plane, in much the same way I fart confetti.
• Man, retards should not be in charge of curricula. Glenn Beck grotesquely overestimates own intelligence, value as human being.
• Wow. Chuck Colson thinks he can speak English.
• Canada: Be polite and not fascist.
• This one reminds me of the old Onion headline (see the lead story).
• Here's one from Jolly Old England that I had not heard.
• This conspiracy theory is not anything new--NWO, Obama, BP, Constitution, Rothschilds, Federal Reserve, blahblahblah--but it has a great picture of Obama that really should be painted on velvet. There may be a unicorn behind him.
• In Dealey Plaza, vendor-murder-leech-creatures evicted. Asshat sues.
• The Lateline report on the New South Wales Health Care Complaints Commission ruling that smashed the nuts of the Australian Vaccination Network. My upside-down friends must be doing little Australian jigs on their hands right now.
• Michael Moriority is a racist. An asshole and a racist. But at least he's unbalanced and unprincipled.
• Hey, how about that neo-Nazi wackjobby keeping America safe from brown people?
• Alex Jones headline bespeaks not at all thoroughly deranged thought processes: America Stands on the Precipice of Total Collapse

Conspiracy of the Week:

I do so love this one.

• Queen Elizabeth so ashamed by the BP oil spill that she plans to abdicate this month.

That's it for now. I should mention that I have been posting this to the "conspiracy theory" page of reddit on a weekly basis, but now the service no longer recognizes me or lets me post. Conspiracy?

Also, I have a recent talk that I gave about conspiracy theories coming out in a few days, so watch for that.

HJ