Mike Adams is the biggest, lamest, most perfect idiot ever to survive into adulthood.

I mean, holy crap, people. You watch Mike Adams, Health Ranger (haha), do his thing, and you wonder what type of enfeebled fuckwit of a mother let such a thing live!

Anyway, Mike has soared to new heights of lunacy. (Strength to strength, as they say.) I can't believe anyone takes this asshat seriously. It arrived in my mailbox and was called:

The nutrition secret behind The Secret

How to multiply your success with "The Secret" and achieve new clarity using the Law of Attraction

I almost had a stroke I laughed so hard.

Dear readers,

What a fuckhea... oh wait he hasn't said anything. That was just a reflex. Sorry.

With the popularity of "The Secret" rapidly growing in the United States and around the world, there's growing interest in finding ways to maximize results while using the power of intention and Law of Attraction.

You know, if only we could read the Law of Attraction out loud to all those poor people who want to be poor. You know, like all of sub-Saharan Africa. And cancer patients, who clearly weren't positive enough or at least didn't not want cancer badly enough.

Few people really know one of the most important secrets to making "The Secret" work: Establishing the right nutrition and dietary habits that clear your nervous system and allow intention to flow.

Oh, that's why sub-Saharan Africa is in such a state. They need food first. Well, then, they're screwed. Also, intention flows?

In this article, I'll share some of the best nutritional secrets about The Secret, covering:
1) Foods and substances that interfere with the power of your intention.
2) Foods and substances that enhance the power of your intention.

3) Opportunistic echoing popular but silly fads in ways that make me money while allowing me to prey on the sick.

4) Purchasing opportunities that enhance Mike Adams' wallet.

Mike Adams--paid shill for Big Retard.

Once you learn this information, you'll instantly discover ways to greatly enhance the effects you get when you apply your intention (or invoke the Law of Attraction). You'll also come to recognize why the great spiritual leaders throughout the world all gravitate towards similar diets that are free of certain substances (such as red meat).

God, I hate vegans. Or at least evangelical vegans. Seriously, you extremely regular sons-of-bitches piss me off...I'm sorry. That was the red meat talking.

Let's begin by examining those foods and substances that interfere with the power of intention and the Law of Attraction.

Foods and substances that block the power of intention

The power of intention (i.e. the Law of Attraction) only works when you have a clear, healthy nervous system that's free from distortion.

What the fuck does that even mean? I mean. You have words but, like, without the accompanying ideas. Is there a condition called nervous system distortion?

Invoking the power of intention is a lot like broadcasting a message from a radio tower, and your nervous system (brain, spinal cord, nerves, etc.) are the transmission tissues.

Your spine is a transmission tower? You transmit a lot of stupid shit then, boy-o.

A radio tower only works well when it has sufficient electricity, clarity and symmetry. It also can't be gunked up with interfering signals or overriding disturbances. Your own nervous system is the same: For it to function well, it must be free of distortion and operating at peak performance.

So, you are saying that if your brain is to function well, it should function well? You are my own personal Zeno. I'm sorry, I mean Xenu.

The following items greatly interfere with healthy nervous system function and therefore inhibit your power of intention:

Meat products: All animal-derived foods impair the clarity of intention, and this is especially so if those foods are derived from cruelly-treated animals (like feedlot cattle). This is why so many spiritual leaders around the world refrain from eating meat. It's also why vegetarians are generally more peaceful, spiritually balanced people than heavy meat eaters.

Fuck you, self-righteous vegetarians! Hitler? Vegetarian. (Not that this makes a difference or means anything. But some vegetarians actually find this a threatening argument. Take, for instance, the clearly calorie-deprived ramblings of Rynn Berry made this argument in a MONOGRAPH-LENGTH WORK CALLED Why Hitler Was Not a Vegetarian, in which he said, "Hitler was in no way an ethical vegetarian." He wasn't an ethical anything, as it turns out. But you seem to be committing a No True Scottsman while actually sort of being a little scared of the ad Naziam. Very sad.)

Alcohol and drugs: All recreational drugs (including alcohol) impair healthy nervous system function. Clarity cannot be achieved while under the influence of nicotine, alcohol, meth or street drugs.

You still haven't described what clarity is, how to measure it, or anything of use. I we have a beer-summit smoker boy in the White House. Of course, he was placed there by the Illuminati, so I guess The Secret does not apply to him. And if you are making some sort of argument that meth or street drugs (heheh) somehow interferes with someone success, you are just breaking new ground right and left, aren't you, Sparky?

While there are medicinal uses for some natural drugs (such as medical marijuana), their use still inevitably interferes with clarity and clouds the Law of Attraction, so use them sparingly if at all. On the other hand, there are also natural plant-based medicines that actually enhance clarity when used as part of sacred spiritual journeys. Western society has declared such substances to be illegal drugs, but they are deliberately and consciously used with great care in healing journey experiences in many other parts of the world.

[I could not come up with a good joke here. I challenge my readers to fill in the blank, preferably with something that uses the word "pigfucker."]

Caffeine: Even caffeine interferes with healthy nervous system function. The onslaught of daily stimulants leaves the body depleted of energy, unable to reach the level of vibration necessary to effectively broadcast intention to the universe.

Vibratory vegetables it is then. Animala, fetch me a zucchini and some petroleum jelly! What the hell do your words even mean? It's like a linguistic train wreck. If you really feel like there is meaning behind those words, you're mentally ill, Mike.

Television: Watching television fills your mind with false messages, clouding your mind with ideas that distort reality and impair your ability to connect with the universe. Have you ever noticed that the people who watch the most television seem to be unable to attract those things into their lives that they want? It's because television acts like an intention blocking device, draining away your intention energy and filling your head with ideas and beliefs that only serve the interests of corporations and governments.

HAHAHAHAAH!! HAHAHAHA! The tinfoil hat takes care of that, Mike. You git. Wow, Mr. Pot, I'd like to introduce you to Mr. Kettle. I think you'll find you have a lot in common.

Processed foods: Processed foods not only lack the nutrition necessary for healthy nervous system function, they're also typically loaded with excitotoxins like MSG, aspartame and yeast extract. These substances damage the functioning of the nervous system, making any practice of the Law of Attraction virtually impossible.

So, unleavened bread with hummus, then.

Fragrance products: All fragrance products based on artificial chemicals impair the healthy functioning of the nervous system by dulling the senses and limiting sensory acquity. Achieving success with the power of intention requires eliminating ALL fragrance products from your life. These include most shampoos, laundry detergents, dryer sheets, soaps, perfumes, cosmetics, deodorants, skin creams and other similar products. In each of these categories, there are many alternatives available: Natural products that are either fragrance-free or made from essential oil fragrances only. If you wish to find success in applying the Law of Attraction, it's crucial to get these artificial fragrance chemicals out of your life (and away from your nervous system).

Remove my nose. Check.

Once you're free of the substances interfering with your power of intention, you can move on to enhancing your nervous system health with proper supportive substances. Here are the most important items to consider:

Raw foods: Raw foods really cleanse your nervous system and restore healthy brain function.

Clearly not, Mike, if you are any measure.

I'm done. There is a lot more, if you want to look it up. But the stupid hurts, and I am a delicate flower of a man.

HJ