Rear-End Admiral Gordon Klingenschmitt: "I have an opinion."

I hear a lot of pretty weak shit on a fairly regular basis. And I seek it out. But I never in my wildest imagined that I would find something so feeble as what former Chaplain Gordon Klingenschmitt managed to type up somehow. Gordon, who is portrayed praying to the Emperor of the Sun on his website, is clearly microcephalic:

(By the way, when the fuck did Jesus get to drop the possessive apostrophe? When subnormal Southerners decided that Jesus' was too hard to pronounce? FUCK! I do like the acronym, PIJN, because everyone knows that the Holy Spirit is a pigeon. And much like a pigeon craps on a statue of the Founding Fathers, Klingenschmitt craps on their intent.)

Luckily, you don't need to be able to think to be a chaplain. Or maybe you do, and he didn't make the cut. You see, he is one of those people who were too nutty for God to hold down a job in government, you know like that 10 commandments judge Roy Moore or Dave Daubenmire. Some people weren't meant to be useful.

Anyway, the filthy thrust of the piece is that the Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan is alleged to be a lesbian by 4 anonymous people on the Internet and that all of Congress must know about this immediately. Seriously.

In breaking news, Chaplain Klingenschmitt reveals that four different Harvard Law School students reported Kagan was Lesbian Homosexual as far back as 2006 and 2007.

The 4 Harvard law students' quotes are now online at www.prayinjesusname.org/kagan.

Will any news reporter dare to track down and interview these four students?

*blink* *blink* You follow that link and get just a little more convinced that the military is better off without this nutter, who I shit you not, everyone calls "Chaps," presumably because he either wears them (he was "in the Navy") or he chaps everyone's ass.

In January 2006, The Harvard Law Review Epinions openly advertised Kagan's Lesbian qualifications as a reason to attract new students:

Harvard Student #1) "HLS has changed over the years, and the newest, high-energy dean isElena Kagan, a lesbian professor who has revitalized the community...I actually attended HLS. And I did so RECENTLY to boot, not 10 years ago."

You are dishonorable. You know that, right? It's not the Harvard Law Review "advertising," you twisted abortion. It says right there on the page you link to, you vacuous turnip-sitter-onner, that epinions.com is "a shopping.com company." And it's a Law School Review page, where anyone can say anything. So, a former student says that she is a lesbian, says she is really good and taking the school places. Sounds horrid, if by horrid you mean competent.

Date: December 16th, 2007 2:16 PM
Author: 2nd Year Biglaw Litigator
Harvard Student #2) Isn't she known to be a lesbian?

Date: December 16th, 2007 3:10 PM
Author: anonprestigiousguy
Harvard Student #3) well she is in ma.

Date: December 16th, 2007 2:10 PM
Author: notatooliswear
Harvard Student #4) pretty sure she's with a female former partner of another leading legal academic.

Seriously, someone you are citing said that all people in Massachusetts are gay. Just let that sink in. Longer. Longer....Fuck, nothing is going to sink into your head, Klingenschmitt (translates into dingleberry in German: "Why are you walking like that, Hans?" "I have a klingenschmitt." "Ach!").

You want to play that game, you pissant? Fine. I saw a rumor on the web that Klingenschmitt is a whore who likes to play dress up. Don't believe me? It was on the INTERNET!

"Not only that, but he was fined back in 2006 for wearing his uniform to a protest. Man of God or attention whore?"

And that was openly advertised in a review from reddit.com, which everyone knows is actually run by the PIJN Project. Everyone fax the Senate! Big fucking news!

Now apologize for being born, Gordy, and we'll call it even.

HJ