Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Uh....Vagina beepers?

Tengrain totally scooped me on this one.


The Georgia legislature, august body that it is, is now legislating against involuntary implantation of microchips.

I don't usually quote big wadges of reputable sources like Jim Galloway, but unless the story is presented intact, the full strangeness doesn't come across:

At the House hearing, state Rep. Ed Setzler (R-Kennesaw), who is shouldering the legislation in the House, spoke earnestly for better than a half hour on microchips as a literal invasion of privacy.

He was followed by a hefty woman who described herself as a resident of DeKalb County. “I’m also one of the people in Georgia who has a microchip,” the woman said. Slowly, she began to lead the assembled lawmakers down a path they didn’t want to take.

Microchips, the woman began, “infringe on issues that are fundamental to our very existence. Our rights to privacy, our rights to bodily integrity, the right to say no to foreign objects being put in our body.”

She spoke of the “right to work without being tortured by co-workers who are activating these microchips by using their cell phones and other electronic devices.”

She continued. “Microchips are like little beepers. Just imagine, if you will, having a beeper in your rectum or genital area, the most sensitive area of your body. And your beeper numbers displayed on billboards throughout the city. All done without your permission,” she said.

It was not funny, and no one laughed.

“Ma’am, did you say you have a microchip?” asked state Rep. Tom Weldon (R-Ringgold).

“Yes, I do. This microchip was put in my vaginal-rectum area,” she replied. Setzler, the sponsoring lawmaker, sat next to the witness – his head bowed.

“You’re saying this was involuntary?” Weldon continued.

The woman said she had been pushing a court case through the system for the last eight years to have the device removed.

Wendell Willard (R-Atlanta), chairman of the House Judiciary Committee, picked up the questioning.

“Who implanted this in you?” he asked.

“Researchers with the federal government,” she said.

“And who in the federal government implanted it?” Willard asked.

“The Department of Defense.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

The woman was allowed to go about her business, and the House Judiciary Committee approved passage of SB 235.

This is by far the strangest state I have ever lived in. As Tengrain commented: Congrats, Georgia. You are the new Texas.

HJ

Update: (The best comment on the AJC website: "Well, the Republicans have their next VP candidate!")

8 comments:

Slugsie said...

Does her Vagina Beeper have a vibrate function?

Just asking.

Bing said...

"I'll have the implant she's having."

HJ

Tengrain said...

I liked the idea that her vag beeper's number is on billboards around town. I don't know why, but that cracked me up.

Regards,

Tengrain

Anonymous said...

Cue theme from The X Files.

Buffy said...

They're pushing legislation and that's the best person they could come up with to testify in their favor? How humiliating.

askegg said...

So they are taking advice from delusional paranoid conspiracy nuts now?

Bing said...

No. Marching orders.

HJ

Roy Batty said...

It looks like Georgia has caught whatever it is South Carolina has.