Finding Jihad

Every so often, we compile some of our favorite Google searches that have led unsuspecting people to our website, faithfully recorded on sitemeter. We call this, "Finding Jihad," and we now also refer to ourselves in the "royal we." We are really amused.

• The Tales of Scroty Mc Booger Balls (This actually leads to me, and quite frankly, I'm a little miffed that I did not think of that first.)
• bananarama wiki ("Is it a code?")
• finding nemo will never be the same. thanks sex ed (I want to make a joke, but I feel it has already been made.)
• huge prepuce (If you know what that word means, you are really grossed out right now.)
• naked men crucified (Uh...)
• global warming deniers are fucking idiots (It doesn't matter who they fuck. It's their business.)
• ninja fight (I would give all my money to see that.)
• funny help wanted ads (Wanted: Naked men for crucifixion.)
• sonnets about pancakes (Shall I compare thee to a midsummers grand slam?)
• poems about pedophilia (Is it me, or does anyone else think that pedophilia should refer to foot fetishes?)
• do vaginas have a red dangly thing (*blink blink* That's an engorged penis, dude. You took home a man!)
• "ann coulter's feet" (Hold on. I need to vomit everything I've eaten since Kindergarten.)
• how many cases has allison dubois solved (Exactly zero.)
• bob cornuke speaking charge (Too much at any price.)
• bayonette in foot (Sometimes the Internet is creepy.)
• nude girls eating pancakes (And sometimes it's just weird.)
• children with happy puppet syndrome (I have no idea what this could possibly mean.)
• what happens to the particles in pancakes when they cook? (They gain the chemical property of fluffitude.)
• basking shark carcass ("HJHOP: Your source for basking shark carcasses.")
• fuck sylvia browne (Not with a stolen penis on a stick in the dark.)
• vacuum cleaner fucking (Did you see what happened to Adam Savage when he stuck his face in a vacuum cleaner? No. Fucking. Way. I don't want to be known as "Bing Bloody McWiener-Ribbons.")
• worst 80s hair (Oh that's easy. Women's eyebrows.)
• annular eclipse (That's when the shadow of the earth passes across your butthole.)
• will taps be at dragon*con 2010? (Let's hope so.)
• boobs suck (Boobs rule!)
• how to make the sound of a man pissing his pants (I'd say, "Take a leak with a digital recorder down your trousers.")
• is ken ham working for the illuminati (No. Satan.)
• robia lamorte's views on homosexuality (Hahahaha! I'm sorry, but how could that possibly be relevant to...anything?)
• creation museum fuck (They don't have that there. Even Eve's labia are sutured together.)
• boo imma scare you, boo minipoo (Yep. Somehow this leads to my site.)
• is rexella van impe sexy? (Only if you find alien bobbleheads a turn on.)
• how does rexella van impe look so young (Dude, you have glaucoma. I'm just saying.)
• weird military uniforms (The Durham Light Infantry are the weirdest:)

Strangest group of clearly related searches:

• viginal disease blue waffle
• blue pancakes pussy
• blue pancake penis disease

But what does it mean??!?!

HJ