Bodie brings da noize...no...wait...that's funk...!

Funkin' ridiculous, that is.

The Hodge surname emerged a just a little more tarnished this week following Bodie's "Satan, the Fall, and a Look at Good and Evil." (Don't worry, Bodie! I saw on Mythbusters that you can polish poop! You'll get that luster back!) Anyway, Bodie once again shows that if you can just make things up, everything in the Bible becomes true.

The really stupid question of the week is "Wasn't the serpent the Satan?"

Of course, there is nothing about any demonic possession of the snake--surely the Bible could have mentioned that. I mean, it's clearly, clearly a lady and snake having a little heart-to-heart. The "serpent" was the most clever animal in the garden, it's the serpent that receives the curse, it's the serpent that the Woman blames. It's the tap-dancing serpent fer cryin' out loud. But Bodie goes and tells an alternate tale completely unsupported by the logical structure of the story of Eden.

He posits that the serpent was somehow influenced by the devil, which is not claimed, but he comes out with this...totally bonkers, off the wall interpretation:

So there is no stretch to understand that the Lord is speaking to the serpent and Satan in Genesis 3. Genesis 3:14 is said to the serpent and then Genesis 3:15 is said to Satan who is influencing the serpent.

No stretch? Can't you read? I'm sorry, that was insensitive. Let me rephrase that. Hasn't anyone ever bought you a picture Bible?

Look at the passage he is splitting up:

14 So the Lord God said to the serpent:

“Because you have done this,

You are cursed more than all cattle,

And more than every beast of the field;

On your belly you shall go,

Andyou shall eat dust

All the days of your life.

15 And I will put enmity

Between you and the woman,

And between your seed and her Seed;

He shall bruise your head,

And you shall bruise His heel.”

Nothing screams transition here. (Something tells me that the capitalized "Seed" is a later interpolation.) In fact the structure, if you read it, really indicates that god is talking to the damned (heheh) serpent:

14 So the Lord God said to the serpent:

“Because you have done this,

You are cursed more than all cattle,

And more than every beast of the field;

On your belly you shall go,

And you shall eat dust

All the days of your life.

15 And I will put enmity

Between you and the woman,

And between your seed and her Seed;

He shall bruise your head;

And you shall bruise His heel.”

16 To the woman He said:

“I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception;

In pain you shall bring forth children;

Your desire shall befor your husband,

And he shall

rule over you.”

17 Then to Adam He said,

“Because you have heeded the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree of which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat of it’:
Cursed is the ground for your sake;

In toil you shall eat of it

All the days of your life.

18 Both thorns and thistles it shall cause to grow

bring forth for you,

And you shall eat the herb of the field.

19 In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread

Till you return to the ground,

For out of it you were taken;

For dust you are,

And to dust you shall return.”

It's that classic mnemonic structure again. God questions Adam, who blames Eve, who blames the snake, and then God metes out punishment in reverse, damning the snake, then Eve, then Adam. I would actually argue that you corrupt the text by claiming that the serpent's curse is broken into two parts.

So stop messing up the Bible, Bodie, is what I'm saying. It's because you think badly, I believe. It's really not your thing.

HJ