Liberal Puritan Hippies...
You thought that the Puritans were unpleasant, myopic control freaks? Dude, they were dope-smoking dropouts compared to the following unenlightened primitives. Anyone up for a good ol' fashioned book-burning?
N.C. Church to Burn Satan's Books, Including Works of Mother Theresa
I'm not a big fan of Mother Theresa, personally, but it's the principle of the thing. You don't burn books, not even ones by Cathy Caruth. Her awful Unclaimed Experience, which is grammatically correct but literally meaningless--seriously...how come I can't get tenure for stringing together unrelated words that mimic sentences?--held down my dissertation and forcibly violated it for a month before I had to accept that I was not an idiot and that she was scamming a lot of people, herself possibly included. ALL HAIL FREDERICK CREWS! ALL HAIL FREDERICK CREWS!
Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. Christians who don't find really Christian Christianity Christian enough. On Halloween, these freak shows are going to be burning books in their ongoing crusade against literacy and reason. But also against heretical forms of the Bible, by which I mean anything not King James. Because Bibles are best when they are written in "ye olde" English (quick fact...that "y" in "ye" is a "th"--and now you know, and knowing is half the battle).
(Name the character, win a prize! Or, more likely, not!)It reminds me of Texas governor "Ma" Ferguson's shrewd observation: "If the King's English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me!"
HJ
P.S.: I know that the quote is probably suspect, but shit, it just sounds so Texan!
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4 comments:
Considering that fool's church only has 14 members, it's clear they are a small minority.
With such small membership numbers, though, it kind of makes me wonder: How on Earth did they ever accumulate enough "Satan's works" to turn their immolation into any sort of "event" worthy of a BBQ? Sure, the criteria are broad enough to include a good 10% or more (significantly more if you count all the modern music genres) of any local Borders store's inventory, but are they actually deluded enough to buy up all the copies they can find for a burning and think this would be bad news for publishers? Or do they just burn things from their personal libraries? In that case, why did they even get those "Satanic" works in the first place?
Buggy,
You are my new best friend.
HJ
As long as the books are their own, they're just exercising their Freedom of Speech. Think of it as the Right's version of burning the flag or an effigy of a politician. I wouldn't do it, as even a bad book is still a book, but I wouldn't prevent others from doing it (again, as long as it was their own books).
...and the character is Flint. Obviously.
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