God is the new Osama bin Laden...
Did you hear about that preacher in Mexico who hijacked an airliner? He is on record (without even having to waterboard him) as saying that his accomplices were the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, who silently slipped away in the commotion. They are still at large and are considered omnipotent and dangerous.
God the Father is described by children who have experienced near-death experiences as looking a whole lot like Santa Claus. Jesus H. "The Son" Christ was last seen wearing a robe, dons a beard and long hair. He can be recognized instantly by distinctive scars on his hands and feet and side. The Holy Spirit is a bird or something.
If you see these terrorists, contact your local authorities.
HJ
Seed Newsvine
3 comments:
Hmm. I think the descriptions of the father and son will be adequate for tracking them down (unless they shave - then we could have some difficulty), but the Spirit is going to be tough. A bird or something? That's the best eyewitnesses could come up with? Sheez.
Hmmm, I've read your blog and just wonder what makes you hate us Christians so much? Why do you even care to berate and minimize and ridicule us? I hope that you can know and experience the love and grace that I and so many of us know. We're not perfect people. As a matter of fact, I echo the words of the apostle Paul who said, "not many are wise, from a human perspective, not many powerful, not many of noble birth. Instead God has chosen the world's foolish things (me), 1 Corinthians 1:26-27. I hope that we could have a civil and and open discourse to help you understand us. at least. Thanks,, G. Rhodes
I'm not ridiculing all Christians everywhere, and I don't ((hate)) anyone, much less the vast majority of my friends, family and colleagues. How could I cope? Indeed, most Christians are swell. You seem to have caught the "He disagrees with me vigorously, therefore he hates me" virus. If you can't read my blog and not think, "He hates me personally," then what are the chances that our exchange of ideas is going to be productive?
If you think that the people I feature here, the way-out-there airplane-hijacking whackjobbies are (or should be) representative of Christianity as a whole, then I am happy you are offended. You really should be.
At the same time, the church has had 2000 years to make it's damn point. And it's been a right talking to, not a dialog. It's really no longer a conversation I am interested in having. If there was a chance I would talk you out of your tree, I'd try, but there's no point. I'm not out to convert anyone.
It's not my fault that you can't separate the dancer from the dance.
Your love and grace tripe is just so...condescending. I don't have to imagine that there is an all-forgiving sky-fairy to feel like I am loved. I assure you, I do feel love, not imaginary love, but real connections to real people, many (if not most) of whom are Christians. How dare you insinuate that I am not pleased as punch because I don't waste my Sundays?
"We're not perfect."
No shit. But this is not a divine revelation, either. I mean, in a world where people are generally passion-powered loonmobiles (I am no exception). (At any rate, Paul's conversion clearly did not improve him at all: he was a fanatic before conversion, and he was a fanatic after conversion.)
I am not interested in civility. I am interested in being frank. If you can't hear it, I suggest you not read me.
HJ
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