Joseph Farah make less sense before breakfast than most dada art exhibits don't all day.

I won't lie to you. I'm fired up on the wine. A nice red wine with a pretty picture of Barcelona's medieval district on it, a town of which I am inordinately fond.

But none of that, for turdburgers need smashing! I should be watching Civil Defense films of the 1950s, but noooooo. Someone had to piss me off. Because I am a little drinky right now, I thought that I would go after a low hanging fruit. His name is Joseph Farah. He founded WorldNetDaily, and is therefore sort of responsible for this gooftastic birther bullshit.

Anyway, it's called "Who most resembles 'Nazis'?" and my first answer is immediately, "WWII reenactors who play the Germans!" Apparently, I'm wrong because he comes up with someone else altogether. It's at Bible Prophecy Today. It's awful, but at least it's unoriginal and mediocre. Bring it on, failure.

It opens:

This is going to be, shall we say, "a controversial column."

Outfits like the George Soros-subsidized Media Matters will have a field day with it – excerpting passages out of context, deliberately distorting the words I am carefully choosing and, in typical knee-jerk fashion, mocking its premise.

1) You edit a major website. Learn how to use fucking quotation marks.
2) Out of respect for you, you glistening gob of mucus, I will not take passages out of context. I will mock you like there is no fucking tomorrow, however, and hold you personally responsible for every odious word you belch.
3) You clearly aspire to be a media whore and victim. Pathetic.

Cable TV propagandists posing as "newsmen" will hurl invectives and dub me as a villain for expressing my honest and candid opinions – all of which are based on reality and truth.

Again with "the" quotation mark abuse. You know, I think that I am going to see if he is such a big deal as he thinks he is. With my access to LexisNexis restored, I'm back on the research train, baby! This article came out on the 17th. Let's see how much of an uproar Farah can generate. I will search for all mentions of his name in all of the major cable news transcripts between the 17th and now:

fig 1. Joseph Farah sucking

Not a single mention. You wish someone would pay attention to you, you complete and utter failure. Instead, you get me, and I'm nobody.

Lately, both sides of the political spectrum have suggested their political opponents resemble Nazis or fascists. Are both sides equally wrong?

Let's talk about "national socialism" – because that, indeed, is exactly what Barack Obama and his friends in the Congress are actively promoting and enacting in America today.

This is your contribution to the public debate?

The very word "Nazi" is indeed an acronym for national socialism – the political and economic system Hitler infamously imposed on Germany in the 1930s. It was then and remains today, despite the denials of historical revisionists, a "left-wing" idea. All socialism is, by definition, a left-wing notion.

By "historical revisionists," of course (and notice the beautiful use of quotation marks), he means almost every single reputable historian and scholar of the Twentieth Century. To make this assertion simply farts away 70 years of social science. Goddamn, I hate it when people call legitimate work "revisionist" (take notes, asswipe). So, yes. I mock your premise, but only because it indicates your absolute lack of qualifications to lecture me.

Also, you don't know what "acronym" means.

If the left-right political spectrum has any meaning, it is that those on the left tend to favor government intervention while those on the right favor non-government solutions to problems. That is the traditional and accepted definition – much as those on the left would like to blur that understanding.

Nope. I'm cool with that. It has its limits, of course, but, sure, let's pretend that I am a knuckle-dragging ideologue.

National socialists, whether they seek to kill Jews or old people or the disabled or unborn babies, will always be national socialists – no matter what kind of lipstick they put on the pig.

Are you really convinced that you are surrounded by people who want to kill Jews? By elderly-hating maniacs? Fetus-eating cripple killers? Really? Really? What a sad and distorted view of reality you have. You should be on medication, you nut.

Furthermore, people like our Founding Fathers, who sought to diffuse power because they understood its unchecked and unlimited centralization represented a grave threat to personal liberty represent the polar opposite of national socialists.

And what better way to do this than through bloated inefficient bureaucracies, I ask you?

While it may be an overstatement to compare Obama with Hitler, it is even more far-fetched to characterize his political opponents as Nazis and fascists because they very clearly want to limit the size and scope of government – preferring that people be free to govern themselves to the greatest extent possible.

Dude, are you admitting that you are full of shit in the first sentence? Or are you..Jeez you make no sense. I'm going to get another glass of vino. This is going to be a tough one.

Obama has power. His opponents, for the most part, do not. Furthermore, Obama seeks to use his power to impose policies that have, like it or not, a striking resemblance to those Hitler promoted in the 1930s.

Rounding up Jews? Killing his opponents? Seeking bipartisanship that will scuttle his major health care reforms? Yeah, just like Hitler, weirdo.

Like what?

• Abortion

• 
  

Demonization is par for the course in the abortion debate. Let's move on.

• Infanticide

Well, I guess you are talking about the little law in Illinois that Obama did not vote for which protected babies born during botched abortions. Of course, they were already protected. It was the additional regulation of abortion practices with no clear medical gains that Obama didn't want to sign on to. Duh. 'Tard.

• Government deciding life-and-death issues in dispensing medical care for both older people and those with serious illnesses;

Of course, this has been debunked endlessly, and repeating this weird claim only makes you look like a clown.

• Unfair treatment of Jews, in Obama's case, with regard to Middle East conflict;

Not exactly the same, is it, as wiping out Jews all over the world. Yes. Peace in the Middle East will require the Israeli government to make some concessions, especially when it comes to deliberately pissing off Palestinians by building on seized land. Duh.

• So-called public-private partnerships – blurring the line between government responsibilities and the private sector. This is one of the definitions of fascism;

I hate you so very much. Contracting has been part of the American scene since...forever. In the fascist sense (especially the Nazi sense), the SS would sort of take over the daily running of major businesses. That's not what is happening here.

• Picking winners and losers among corporations and the dispensing of government favors and punishments to them;
  

Some businesses are too big to fail. I'm opposed to that personally, but I can deal with reality.

• Hiring and firing of supposedly private corporation executives;

Yeah, but did you see their track records? It should have been done long ago. And at any rate, they did not have legal authority to kick anyone out of a job, just make it a condition of bailout money. Don't want to take a government handout? Work harder, bitches. That's conservatism 101.

• Attacking free expression;

Shut up. (Haha!)

• Secrecy

Don't go there, asshole. Seriously.

• Using taxpayer funds for the hiring of political partisans to "organize" communities and sign up new voters;

Your demonization of community groups like ACORN totally baffles me. It's like accusing the Salvation Army of war crimes. Do you really do that with a clean conscience? Or do you, deep down, really hate yourself for being what you have become?

• Demonizing political opponents;

Hello, Mr. Pot, here's Mr. Kettle.

• Encouraging citizens to "rat out" friends, family members and others who oppose his policies;

Prove it, pigfucker. Seriously. They wanted the stories, not the sources, you dishonest, honorless boil.

• Keeping tabs on political opponents;

But not killing them like Nazis, right? You are sad, and you minimize the historical evils of that group.

• Filling top government posts with like-minded political extremists who would normally be regarded as internal security threats;

I have no idea what you are talking about and refuse to give that link the dignity of a click, as you have already proven that you are, without a doubt, beneath caterpillar shit.

• Ignoring the Constitution;

Oh, c'mon. Bush shat on Habeas Corpus, had "free speech zones," and eavesdropped on everyone and their mother.

• Blaming his predecessor and the fundamentals of the American political and economic system for all the problems besting the country;

Are you admitting defeat? How un-American. Heheh. You're right. Bush didn't start the wars. Idiot.

I mean, I could go on and on. George W. Bush and other predecessors in the White House had their faults. Some of them did terrible things, showed incredibly bad judgment, made horrible mistakes. But I can think of no precedent for someone in the White House doing all of the above at once – all of which bear striking parallels to the leadership of infamous fascists such as Benito Mussolini and Hitler.

Worse, the leaders of his party and his acolytes in the media can see no danger posed by any of these policies. In fact, like good Germans, they blame the opposition in the most disgusting, vile ways – often unfairly accusing them of doing what they themselves do.

And you say you love America? I mean, seriously. If you were a husband, you would be beating up your wife "only because you love her so much."

Why is it acceptable for House Speaker Nancy Pelosi to say American citizens attending congressional town halls are swastika-carrying thugs, but wrong for her political opponents to point out the similarities between her party's policies and those of Nazi Germany.

Oh, that's because they are being disruptive and bringing loaded automatic weapons to protests.

Why is it acceptable for Gary Trudeau of Doonesbury fame to compare those who want to see Barack Obama's birth certificate with Adolf Hitler, but wrong for his political opponents to point out the similarities between the way the president and Democratic Congress are attempting to squelch dissent and grab unchallenged, unchecked power and the way fascists of the past have?

Oh, that's because you are xenophobic and racist and making shit up.

Joseph, you are so bent, so completely misinformed on so many levels that I can only point at you and laugh. You are simply not even a player. You are this weird guy whose perception of reality is so distorted that if you are not in the booby-hatch by the end of the year, it is just further evidence that health care in this country is totally fucked up.

I would encourage you to climb into a trash compactor, but you are so dense, I'm afraid you'd break it.

HJ