A semester without plagiarism is like a honeymoon without seeping herpes lesions...
You know, I was warming to my students. My prematurely curmudgeonly ways were easing, and my heart expanded to encompass the promise and potential of the upcoming generation.
This, to students, is a sign of weakness.
When a probationary first-year uses the word "fey," I hit the Internet. I'm sorry, but this is not my first goat-fuck. Who do these little people think that they are? I no longer take it personally, but I make the students think that I do. ("If I catch you plagiarizing," I say at the beginning of the semester, "I will crucify you upside-down. Underwater.")
I have been online with my boss discussing this. The case is not so clear cut as it would be with a student already accepted. The problem is that a student who does not pass my class does not get to register for freshman year. So, whereas I can usually indulge my wrath knowing that the kid will suffer usually only minimal consequences (damn it), this time, there is no way around it. If I do what I say I will in my syllabus, college is over for this guy. Not pleasant. Not my problem.
Grr.
HJ
Seed Newsvine
5 comments:
OK, I'd hate to have that much responsibility, but it's not as though this student didn't know, right?
Other than that, I absolutely love that title. You got me rolling in the aisles.
I've only had to deal with this situation in such a terminal way once, and since I was only an instructor, I didn't have to deal with it first hand.
But the pair of students at issue were grad students. In Science Education.
I didn't feel too bad about it too long.
I'm always amazed at how people think that they can get away with it, when professors have access to a growing number of tools to catch plagiarism. Personally, you're doing the student a favor, because either a) he's not smart enough to be in college, or b) is an asshole that doesn't want to work hard for his degree. Either way, nothing that you should concern yourself over too much.
I hate seeing it happen, you know. Back when I was a tyke teaching this, I did take it personally and relished the flair with which I announced my findings. But this, yeah, there is nothing good here. Because this could potentially have profound consequences, I won't move unilaterally on it until I have conferred with the program director. It's for my sake as much as the student's.
HJ
In my first year as a grad student, an incredibly jaded TA orientation guide took us through the plagiarism drill: You catch the cheater, you call him in and lay out the evidence, and tell him, "We're going to work this out between us, aren't we? It'll just be a zero on this paper and we'll go on, giving you a chance to redeem yourself, won't we? Cause you don't want me to take this to the Dean Of Students, DO YOU???
Then you hope he caves, because if he doesn't, if he fights, you know that the Dean of Students WILL cave. The legal pressure from hundreds of Students' Rights lawsuits over decades across the land will force him to say, Oh, I dunno, why don't we just have a do-over and call it quits?
Just what the cheater wants. More time to try again.
That was me at UCLA in the early 80s. Don't try and tell me things have gotten better.
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