Veteran rider Simona Manini thrown under HJHOP Short Bus

You may remember, if you have been reading HJHOP for as long as I have been writing it, that feng shui performance artist ("performance artist" sounds so much nicer than "useless parasite") Simona Manini was decorating monkey cages for the LA Zoo. It happened in February of 2007, when "The Insufferable Manini" herself accepted $4500 to go to the zoo and accept $4500. (No, that's not a typo.) Sure, that money could have been used by the zoo to buy coats for naked mole rats, but the City of Los Angeles thought that the money was better spent subsidizing idiocy. They were expecting to bring rare Chinese golden snub-nosed monkeys to LA. Everyone involved deserves what happened to Homer as "Sim-Sim".

Well, I wrote about this grotesque mismanagement of funds way back in the day (see: "Idiocy, thy name is feng shui") when I received 150 hits a month. Those were the days. Well, Simona, doing a shabby lawyer impersonation, contacted me regarding my write up, threatened legal action, and was promptly told to get stuffed (see: "Another Threatened Lawsuit!"). This earned her a spot on the HJHOP short bus's inaugural trip to the boobie hatch.

I think what really pissed me off about this weirdo is this statement:

"It's very experimental," Mainini said. "We don't have any books on feng shui for monkeys. We just have to assume that Darwin is correct and that there is a connection and what is good for humans is good for monkeys."

It's perfect jackassery. Of course,now word has come down that China will not be sending any monkeys to the Los Angeles Zoo, so now they have monkeyless feng shui-ed monkey cages. (Perhaps the Chinese saw how irresponsible the Zoo was with its money?)

The zoo has apparently decided that the monkey cages will house "a mixed-species exhibit of Asian animals including leaf-eating langur monkeys, miniature deer and pheasants." I want to know why Simona Manini is not jumping up and down shouting, "NO! This was feng shui-ed for monkey qi! We have no idea what effect monkey feng shui has on pheasants! We need time for more clinical trials!"

Perhaps it is because nobody is paying her to give a shit.

HJ