Wherein I have sudden primal urge to throw poo at Ken Ham...

Have you ever read something that makes your eyes spin in their sockets, it is so staggeringly goofy? That was much the sensation I felt when I read Ken Ham's blog about a recent commencement speech at Penn State, which was given by an anthropologist, Nina G. Jablonski, in the College of Liberal Arts. Dr. Jablonski has published more than 40 peer-reviewed articles, reviews for a couple dozen science journals, has participated in public science education for almost 30 years, is an editor for numerous science journals, and has done extensive fieldwork around the world, not to mention her work as a collection curator, popular science writer, science consultant, and widely respected lecturer. Her academic CV is enough to make me want to throw in the towel and open a worm farm. Ken Ham, on the other hand, hasn't even met Bill Nye the Science Guy. (Dr. Jablonski has, by the way.)

So, how does Ken evaluate her pep talk to Penn State's graduates? (Let me give you a hint: very, very badly.)

In a commencement address for the College of Liberal Arts at Penn State University this year, graduates were told they were a “community of large-brained apes.” Now that these graduates understand they are just animals, I trust their university won’t be critical of any of the students if they act accordingly.

1. Have you been to college, Ken? (I honestly don't know.) Let me refer you to Buffy the Vampire Slayer:



Yay! I threw in a Buffy reference! How long has it been since I did that?

Seriously, the notion that knowing you descended from animals leads to anarchy and subserviance to animal instincts is handily and totally demolished by looking out the window every so often, you dolt!

After all, if we are just animals, and there is no God, then there is no such thing as morality—particularly when the commencement speaker ended with:

You may be just a bud on the tree of life, but you are a bud with attitude and power. Find your own Beagle [the ship Darwin was on] and change the world!

By the way, Hitler tried to do that, and he did use evolution to justify his actions!

Did you see the Evel Knievel-esque jump over at least 30 feeble intermediary steps between if "we are animals" and "there is no God"? Even less healthy is the assertion that animals, including our closest relatives, do not exhibit the type of behavior that we would, in people, describe as "moral." I direct you to this podcast, called RadioLab, which I have fallen in love with other the last few weeks. They talk about chimp behavior...very near my new apartment in Atlanta, I might add:



Great show that. My roommate is so tired of it!

I like how quickly Ken whipped out Hitler, who, most history textbooks agree, was especially notorious for finding his own Beagle. It's the thought-stopping invocation of the epitome of evil short circuits rational argument. You know who invoked the Bible? David Koresh! There you go, Ken! How'd you like that? Your asinine assertion makes just as much sense. Seriously, though, nobody gets as much as a slap on the wrist for owning slaves or committing all sorts of genocide in the Bible, and for a couple of milennia, slavery in Christendom was justified by looking at the dark-skinned descendents of Cain. (Oh, Dr. Jablonski is also a world-renowned expert on skin pigmentation. I'm willing to bet she could give you an earful on the subject.) The shoddiest non-argument comes at the end of Ken's blog entry:

By the way, at least one department head for a research center at the Penn State campus doesn’t believe this. He is a PhD creationist who visited our Creation Museum last week.

You know, I have long wanted to reveal the name of the evolutionist that has managed to get on the Creation Museum staff and who is even now working hard to expose the full depths of your idiocy and shenanigans. Unfortunately, I won't tell you who that is so that they can finish their work.

Actually, this is not a mystery. I suspect the person that Ken is referring to is Jeremy Walter, an engineer who wields the awesomely gigantic title "Director of the Power Conversion Systems Department of the Energy Science and Power Systems Division at the Applied Research Laboratory at Penn State." His buisness card is printed on posterboard! But the size of your business card has nothing to do with whether or not your opinion on evolution means diddly-squat. For instance, Professor Walter presumably does not need a working knowledge of biology on a daily basis, presumably producing bigger bug-zappers or whatever the hell he does. You have invoked a false authority, Ken. Have you ever looked at one of those "science professionals who reject evolution" lists? There are never anthropologists, zoologists, or biologists on there. They are high school science teachers, dentists, and historians of science.

Ken, you crack me up. Keep it coming! I know you will!

HJ