AiG's Resident Theosophist Georgia Purdom: "The Biblical Curse is Over! Madame Blavatsky Told Me!"

While I learned in grad school that most people can get a Ph.D. if they try, Georgia Purdom proved to me that anyone could get a Ph.D.

With that in mind, I turn to what promises to be a glittering nugget of virtuoso awful: "No Taste for Meat?" Seriously, this could be a case study for evolution, but she misses the point.

As the proud owner of several cats over the years, I can honestly say I have never observed them refusing meat when it was offered to them. But that was exactly the “attitude” of a lioness by the name of Little Tyke. She refused to eat meat and was fed solely a diet of various grains, milk, and eggs. While we might be tempted to consider this lion a freak of nature, what can this vegetarian cat show us about biblical truths?

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that they will, like all of nature, reveal exactly how positively bizarre your beliefs are.

Who was Little Tyke? According to the vegetarian website "vegetarismus," who Georgia uses as an authority, Little Tyke was a cub born to a mother lion who "destroyed her offspring as soon as they were born. Four times in the last seven years, her powerful jaws had crushed her newborn cubs, furiously throwing them against her cage's bars where they tumbled, lifeless." Why did she do this? I am not making it up that they say:

Her life mocked its former freedom. She lived a caged animal, taken from the wild and tortured by those who captured her. Did she feel that by destroying her cubs they would be spared the humiliation that she endured?

So suddenly this is the plot of Beloved? Hey, guys! Protein helps build healthy brain cells! I have never seen a more ridiculous anthropomorphic characterization of an animal in my life. Well, except for the face-eating-chimp lady. And these are ridiculously politically aware lions: mama protests her enslavement and baby swears off meat? Retards.

These highly regular nutjobs in turn got their information about Little Tyke from this outfit, a religious animal rights group. (Only male otters can be priests.) Sure, why not? I mean, people are fucking up goats and rams all the time in the Bible, mostly because God likes the smell (Genesis 8:21). Why not pretend God likes animals? Way to go! These secondary (or possibly tertiary) wackaloons preface the story with:

Once upon a time, in 20th century America, there lived a lion who refused to be violent. Those who cared for her tried to train her to behave in a way they thought was dictated by nature—but she refused. Instead, she taught her keepers that man's idea of what constitutes "natural" animal behavior, is not necessarily what God created the animals to be.

The fairytale beginning is ironically appropriate when you consider the positively unnatural circumstances in which the animal was raised. Let's say that Little Tyke's natural state was to be a vegetarian. If she had been raised in the wild and refused to eat, she would have died. It is as simple as that. The only reason she had a reprieve from this fate was because there were people slamming food substitutes into her constantly. Her survival, while happy, was decidedly not natural.

But let's go to where the religious people got their story of the lion that still died young and horribly. The article that vegetarismus cites is a book review of Little Tyke, published by, let's see, oh...delicious...The Theosophical Publishing House, publishers of books on Yoga (which is evil, according to fundies), resolving Intelligent Design and Evolution, or in Georgia's language, "compromising," tarot, and, oh delight!, according to their main page "a comprehensive selection of Theosophy titles by noteworthy authors like H.P. Blavatsky." Madame "Fraud Itself" Blavatsky! The 19th century, thoroughly debunked (so debunked she burned down her house to hide the trap doors that had been found) parlor psychic! HAHAHAHA!! (That quote, by the way, is almost invisible in the fine print. I wouldn't want to publicize my association with her either.)

Fuck, I didn't know people still took M. Blavatsky seriously! There's a future post in that for sure!

Now, Georgia, is this a credible source? Well, credible enough for your purposes, I suppose.

Anyway, let's pretend that Little Tyke was a real animal that died of a cold at age 9. (Not a very healthy obligate carnivore, what with lions often living up to 20 years in captivity!) What could this possibly have to do with Genesis? I'll let our public dipshit/stealth theosophist explain:

The diet of Little Tyke (various grains) may have more closely resembled that of the original cat kind.

Oh, sweet stanky senior citizens, there is so much wrong with that sentence. First is the made up category of "kind," which is Creationist for "fuck you, respectable biological taxonomic classification." Second, Georgia, my sweet defect, were the original cats hand-reared with baby bottles and veggie cat-chow? Were they eating eggs (unfertilized ones, of course)? Full grown and supping at mama's teat? Please. And does this mean that the curse is over? (Titter.) Did you miss the Rapture? (Titter.) Or perhaps this this cub was a virgin birth? (Triple titter.)

Listen, my whole point of this was to draw out her sources of authority, and quite frankly, she was not discerning, to use the fundie term. I can't verify that this animal was what everyone said, well, I mean, unless the site is "Vibrational Gaia Rising"! HAHAHAHA!! You suck, Georgia!

This is how Harry Potter takes over...by insinuating himself into culture! Hahahaha!

HJ