There is a stupid disturbance in the force...

This is for those of you who have arrived at my site searching for news of the almost miraculous discovery of Noah's Ark.

OF COURSE THEY HAVEN'T FOUND IT, YOU GODDAMNED MORONS! Yeah, it would be nice, but is this the sort of world where Noah's ark had been found? Are the newspapers blasting the biggest archaeological find ever? NO! Are scientists all over the world simultaneously and unanimously proclaiming that, well, turns out they were wrong all along? NO! Are they inventing Nobel Prizes for the loincloth-clad Turkistanibaijani shepherd boy who stumbled across it just so they can give him one? NO! Until the entire world erupts in glee, don't believe reports of it for a second--and even then, be skeptical. So many millions of people have been scammed into believing it had been found so many times that it is stunning that people are so predictably fooled.

I only write this because as I skimmed the most scandalous and delightful web searches from sitemeter for a future "Finding Jihad," I noticed that searches for "Noah's ark found" have skyrocketed. Which is funny, since it was recently just released the dubious news that some dipshit thinks he knows where the Ark of the Covenant is. Whether or not I am right, it amuses me to think that there are a number of CrAzY ChRiStIaNs who don't know the difference between the arks. Ha. Sigh.

HJ

Greetings to my new BFFs from Crooks and Liars! I am currently offering a $100 prize to the person or persons who can get a joke paper published in the "peer"-"reviewed" "journal" put out by the folks responsible for the Creation Museum, Answers in Genesis. If you can get your paper published and announce the hoax on my site, not only will you crack my shit up, but you will also become an international champion of reason and American science education. Go to "Happy Jihad's Happy Fatwah on Answers in Genesis" for details.