Working out my frustrations...

I am struggling with productivity, or more accurately, productivitylessness.

Here's the deal. I have finally won my game of Rome Total War. It took me about 2 weeks. Over 400 turns, each turn getting slightly more complicated. By the end, I could maybe get in four turns at a go, there were so many pieces on the board. I massacred a lot of civilians, by gum, and I enjoyed doing it ever single time. Their screams sweeten my dreams.

I am of course talking about a video game, one more addictive than heroin. Sweet, sweet heroin. It's like Risk, but there are little guys walking on the board and hailing you: "General," or "Mighty Lord," "Sire," "My Liege," and, my favorite, "Imperator." That's what I'm talkin' about. Anyway, it's like Age of Empires and Civilization. Fun. And did I mention addictive as hell?

Anyway, I had to finish this game, which I did tonight. "Laurel wreaths all around! To the vomitorium! Bring me my finest peacock feather!"

Sorry. Got into character for a second there. Done. I have been more or less deliberately avoiding my scholarly work since I began the game. I need to be writing an article right now, and let me tell you, I am getting damned tired of it. A writer's block is crepping up on me. I can feel it. I have had a difficult time coming up with topics to post on here...sometimes it is the sheer force of habit that keeps me posting daily.

Tomorrow, I start a new writing regimen, the type that carried me through the dissertation. Start at 7:00 in the morning, get out the door and to the library to work. Actually, now that I think about it, the post-doc office should be ready for me by now. I could work at school, library be damned. This is actually a great thing for me, having my own office. It's a longtime dream of mine. I want an office. With a door. I don't even need a window. I just want an office of my own. And a large dry erase board. Last Fall, during the final crazy push to complete the dissertation, I asked the department chair if I could have an office that had not been used for years and he gave it to me for a semester. The dry erase board was like a doodle sheet for my mind--it was great! Big, sprawling outlines detailing my chapters! Fantastic! And I could pace, sweet Jesus I could pace. Since high school, I have always thought best on my feet, but now, I had a place where I could record my pensees while still standing! Joy! Rapture!

The other thing I want is a housekeeper. Nothing crazy. Someone to pick up my slack every few weeks or so. I also have a longstanding dream of one day directing traffic. There's something about the obvious power that makes it attractive. And not standing at the side of the road with a "slow" sign. (I always think of it describing the guy holding it--"Here's your sign.") I want to tell people where the hell they are going. Like at a busy intersection. One of my cousins, a cop, told me that he would let me if I wanted to go on a ride-along. Neat.

Can you see me avoiding the issue of productivity here? Jeez.

I want to get this freaking article out before I start applying for jobs next year. I think that the fact I had a recent article on my CV last year helped me land so many interviews. I think that not having the degree in hand may have kept me from sealing the deal. I would like the benefit of both the degree and the article on my CV this time around.

[Bing wanders off for a minute...]

Where was I? My cat was telling me lies and had to be punished. Got to go!

HJ