Rejection: At this point it is just an insult to my intelligence

I think that if you haven't heard about a job you applied for in November by May, most PhDs can make the huge leap to "I don't think I got the job" without a letter. But, I appreciate the following ridiculously late letter:

Dear Mr. Jihad [that's DR. Jihad--I didn't spent 10 years in jihad graduate school to be called "Mr. Jihad"]:

Thank you for your interest in the English faculty positions at Happy Snappy University. We appreciated the opportunity to review your credentials. The pool of applicants was excellent, so the selection process was difficult. After careful consideration of all applicants, the positions have been filled.

I wish you the very best as you pursue your professional goals. Elsewhere. [OK, I added that last bit.]

Sincerely,

Dirk "Tripod" Man-Unit
Associate Dean for Faculty and Research

HJ