Brannon Howse: "Teenagers are obnoxious. They should be banned."

Maybe it's just me, but have teenagers always had sort of a...sophomoric sense of humor? I knew a kid who pissed in the hot sauce at a Steak & Shake. I know someone else who glued a teacher to his chair and took a joyride in a handicapped priest's motorized wheelchair. You should have seen the gigantic snow penis that we once made on my high school's campus.

These types of slightly subversive, asshatty behaviors are standard fare for adolescents. Like putting nudie books in the children's section. I'm willing to bet that it happens at least once a week in most major bookstores.

But if it happens in Collierville, TN, god fucking help us:

Collierville, TN Father Comes Forward To Share His Similar Incident at the Barnes and Noble

The following is an e-mail we received on June 12 at 11:00am.

"I was debating about whether or not I should wear a tie today." Stick to the important details, dude.

We sent this e-mail to a local press person with Greg's e-mail address so they could confirm the story independently. Here is the e-mail this father sent us:

Mr. Howse,

My family lives in Collierville. A few weeks ago, we visited the B&N at Carriage Crossing with our family. I was looking at some books in the children's section with my six-year-old son when I came across a book similar to the one which you found.

Sweet Jesus's buttery nipples!

I quickly grabbed it so my son didn't see it, told my wife what I had found and took it to the information desk.

Oh, so no harm done. Not a great story.

At that time, they indicated that it was not the first time that such material had been found in the children's section.

Because people are stupid. C'est la vie. I'm sure that the person at the info desk took the book straight back and put it with the Dora the Explorer coloring books.

Given that this appears to be a repeating pattern, our family will no longer be visiting the Collierville Barnes & Noble -- though in all honesty, we are moving to the Birmingham at the end of this month and so were not likely to visit many more times in any event.

Wow. That's the worst beginning, middle, and ending of a story that I have ever read. I mean it sucked when it started, but then it was mostly uninteresting towards the middle, and by the end it had totally failed to turn itself around.

I thought you might find this information of use.

"...I also think that we should ban phone books because they list places where you can get contraception. Anyway, I need to go plunge my butthole with my head!"

Yours,
Greg

What is wrong with Collierville?

HJ