American pastors are above the law!

As I sat here sipping champaign from a plastic cup and smoking a stogie (holy shit, are my taste buds confused!), I came across the following...positively bizarre letter by the gun fanatic Larry Pratt. I don't why Larry Pratt shows up on the Worldview Weekend website since the people who crucified Jesus in a diaper would have had guns it they had been invented yet. But, whatever. He is somehow involved with the Shoot First Lobby, or some such goofy group (Gun Owners of America). Anyhow, here is his letter.

GOA has learned that the Russian Republic has sentenced an American pastor to 3 years in prison because he had 20 rounds of hunting ammunition in his luggage.

Wow, the fact that he is a pastor means nothing to me. What was his excuse? His defense?

The pastor -- Phillip Miles of Conway, South Carolina -- hadn't realized that carrying the twenty rounds in his luggage was in violation of Russian customs regulations. And the cartridge regulation was nowhere mentioned in the pamphlet handed American visitors at the Russian airport.

Was there not a warning about not carrying explosives, like fucking everywhere? His best defense is absolute fucking idiocy. You must be a shit lawyer, Lawrence; any first-semester law student knows that ignorance of a law does not exempt you from it.

Pastor Miles was later arrested when he returned to the airport on February 3, and he has been in jail ever since. GOA has heard from a member of Pastor Miles' church that the Pastor has some health issues making it even more important to get him out of jail as quickly as possible.

Boy, that sucks. Especially in a Russian prison. You should do everything possible to never get
into a Russian prison without a...bubble to live in so you don't get the 12-foot high mutant tuberculosis bug.

The three-year sentence is currently on appeal. But outraged American hunters and gun owners are asking why the Russians have imposed such a severe sentence for an innocent mistake -- particularly since there is no question that Miles had intended to give the box of ammo to a friend (a fellow pastor and hunting enthusiast) for his own personal use.

Send in the gun owners! That'll be hilarious!

Pastor Miles declared the ammunition in Myrtle Beach. But at the Moscow airport there are no signs in English to indicate that a separate declaration must be made to customs officials. Airport authorities confiscated the box of .300 caliber ammunition and sent him on his way.

You mean...they don't speak English in Russia?!? Who'dathunk? How do they even talk? Are they stupid? (Their alphabet is like chicken scratch and I don't know what all else.)

"There's no way that the judge in this case would have sentenced this pastor to three years in prison without first checking with high ranking officials in the Russian government," said GOA Founder and Chairman, Sen. H.L. "Bill" Richardson (ret.). "This is a different country that we're dealing with and their judges are nothing more than puppets.

Did he just suggest that in other countries the judges are just puppets? (I think he did.)

"But you can be sure of this," Richardson continued, "if Ronald Reagan were still President over here, there's no way the Russians would have dared to do this to an American citizen."

"...But not Jimmy Carter, because he enables our enemies and hates America and Jesus and is a Muslim communist." There you have it. Bill Richardson, the goofiest man there ever was. I'm amazed that Bush hasn't invaded Russia yet, quite frankly. W's at least twice as fucked in the head as Reagan ever was, except maybe at the end there.

By the way, nobody tell W. that I said that because it will only give him ideas, and I don't want that on my conscience.

HJ